Like most of us at this time of our lives, we are finally at a place to focus on ourselves. We’ve earned it. We deserve it. We need it. Yet, we don’t fully allow ourselves to own it. Take it. Live it.
Many women, in this powerful phase of life, have finally reached a point where focusing on themselves feels possible — and necessary. And more than that, your soul is quietly, persistently asking for it.
But still… you hesitate.
Why?
You are still stuck in old patterns, habits, and belief systems — the ones that say you’re not allowed to be selfish. You have to share everything — your toys, your clothes, your food, your affection, your love, yourself. Old patterns are hard to break.
Deep in your subconscious, you may still be operating from outdated beliefs: You can’t be selfish. You must take care of others first. Your value is in your giving, not in your being. This is not an easy place to be in.
But that story is over.
You know you deserve it.
You know you’re ready for more, but you’re unsure what to do with this newfound space, especially as women who have taken on the task of centering, aligning, and balancing the complete dynamic of family — parents, children, siblings, friendships, companionship, work, money, and all the survival-first tasks we have taken on in our lives.
Suddenly, the kids are gone. The rhythm of the home has shifted. And even if you don’t have children, life has undeniably moved into a new season.
At first, this quieter chapter may feel like a loss — of purpose, of urgency, of identity. Your calendar isn’t as full, but your mind still races with uncertainty. You feel change coming, but it’s unfamiliar… and uncomfortable.
So you resist it.
You realize that your daily push to start the day was based on taking care of others’ to-do lists. You’ve done it for so long that it became part of you — your drive and motivation to get up each day and do.
You know it’s time for ‘You-time’, time to center, align, and balance yourself now.
But then you hit a crossroads. Changes in your outer situations can make you shift your purpose in life in many different ways. With that comes uncertainty, lack of clarity, loss, and the need for direction.
You can feel a change coming on. But this change is so different from what you know that you initially resist it. You push it away and hope your feelings will go back to the way they were.
But here is the absolute hard truth: Once you’ve experienced a moment, you can never truly return to it and experience it again. Each experience is built on the previous one. Each experience is layered with overall circumstances — from your age, location, situations, who else was there, what smells, sounds, or tastes were involved.
Each Memory is an intricate dance of sound, smell, taste, and touch. Our memory will continue to be jogged whenever one of those senses is triggered, and the memory flashes, and for just a moment, a past memory will surface.
And memory is powerful. It’s tied to your subconscious, which holds everything you’ve ever experienced.
This is the only way you can regain your past. But you’re not here to live in the past. Stop dwelling on the past — about the way it used to be — unless you’re talking about funny stories that help you stay in a happy, good, high positive frequency space.
The past and memory go hand in hand. They complement each other in the sense that the subconscious mind has content to search for thoughts, ideas, dreams, and other dimensional experiences to help you make sense of things as they evolve around you.
This works just like AI. You ask AI a question, and then it goes to the World Wide Web, takes a synopsis of all the possible answers, and brings back the best explanation, results, and answers. Your subconscious does the same: searching for patterns, meaning, and clues from the past to help you make sense of the present.
It helps you not be afraid of the future because you’ve already navigated past experience — but this time, you use what you already remember and build on that. That is how you build resilience, trust, and confidence in yourself, your choices, and your decisions.
I always say, “Who knows you better than you?” So why seek outside answers to questions that are already available in your subconscious mind? It is all there. You just don’t trust it.
Therefore, you don’t trust yourself.
So why don’t you trust your own answers?
Because somewhere along the way, you were taught to seek validation. You learned to ask others before you believed in yourself. But their advice comes from their experiences, not yours — and that mismatch can leave you more confused, not less.
Others can only support and advise you so far. Anyone else will give you an answer based on their own personal memory bank. Since they lived a different life from you, their advice and suggestions may not complement your own experience. It may sound familiar, but it is not the same. Every experience is unique to each of us, our perspectives, and our situations.
This is why you feel stuck, unclear, and indecisive.
It’s not that you don’t know what you want. It’s that you already know what you want, but you are still seeking additional support. You want their answer to match exactly with your idea, and that will not happen.
When you get a response that does not exactly resonate with what you already know, you become stagnant and frozen, undecided and unclear on what’s next.
Many coaches tell their students what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. This technique doesn’t work either. The same analogy still exists today: Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for one day; teach him how to fish, and he’ll eat forever.
A conscious coach would help you unfold your ideas into easy-to-grasp concepts, which will allow you to gain clarity and focus and ultimately answer your winning questions — and step into your divine truth, trust your ideas, believe in them, and pursue them without doubt, filled with confidence and love.
You’re not actually stuck.
You’re simply not trusting what you already know.
This is the real work of this phase of life: trusting your subconscious, reclaiming your memory, and returning to your inner authority.
Because you are the one you’ve been seeking.
If this resonates deeply with you — if you feel the pull to reconnect with your intuition and reclaim your identity — I’d love to interview you.
I’m gathering stories from powerful, wise women who are navigating this very journey. Your insights, your voice, your experience could be exactly what another woman needs to hear.
-> Click here to schedule your interview or learn more about this project. Let’s explore your truth — together.